Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
