I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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