wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
