if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
