Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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