If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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