I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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