i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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