That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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