u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
