Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
