I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
