Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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