I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His nipple licking is glorious
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