i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
