the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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