are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize