NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
