i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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