It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
