i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
