He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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