Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Im part way to drunk.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
