omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
