My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I showed him my bush... on skype.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
