the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.