i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked