i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
