I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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