tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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