My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
