Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize