I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
