I wish life had little blips of pornography
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you never un-have a 4some
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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