My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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