You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
