Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
