Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
