I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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