dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
