Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
