You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
