i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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