I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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