you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
