there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
