my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
