I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..