I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..