just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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