Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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