i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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