i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
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Do I have a choice?
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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