Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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