the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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