Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The convent might be a nice break from real life
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
