Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
