Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
