Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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