I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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