It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize